Thursday, February 27, 2014

What fun!

I recently had the opportunity to work with a 5-year-old girl.  "Mandy" came in with her dad and the three of us sat in my waiting room and chatted for a while.  She was adorable and very articulate.  She was also very serious and there was a tension in her face and body that made me sad in someone so young.

Mandy's parents have been divorced for a while, but a recent move had churned up all kinds of issues for her.  She told me that when she was with her dad, she missed her mom and when she was with her mom she missed her dad.  At her new school she just wanted to be alone.  She missed her old house.  When she spoke of missing the house before that one, her dad gently reminded her that she was an infant when they lived there and couldn't possibly remember it.  Very serious she looked at him and said, "But I miss it."

There, in my waiting room, as she was securely sitting next to her dad, I asked her to imagine a string between her and the first house.  In response to my questions, she described the string as being "thin and invisible." I offered her a pair of golden scissors to cut the string and she calmly did so.  When I asked her how that felt she smiled and said, "I feel happy."

I asked her to imagine the house she'd just moved from.  She closed her eyes and nodded.  "Imagine a cord between you and that house."  This time the cord was thick and heavy and was covered with "a hundred thorns."  We agreed that a simple pair of golden scissors wouldn't cut through it.  She excitedly thought of a big pair of scissors that she'd seen somewhere that would work.  And they did.  When I asked how she felt after cutting that big, thorny cord she smiled and said, "I feel happy!"

Then I asked if she would like me to tell her a story that I could record for her to listen to anytime.  She nodded and accompanied me into my office.  There, we talked about The Wizard of Oz and how Glinda the Good Witch floated around in a pretty bubble.  Would she like to have a big bubble to float around in?  In that bubble, she'd always feel calm and happy.  "Yes," she answered.  Between us we worked out some details that I wove into a ten-minute recording.

By the time Mandy and her dad left, there was no tension in Mandy's face or body.  She hugged me warmly and there was light in her eyes and smile.  What we did together was so simple and yet so impactful for that sweet little one. 

I am grateful to Mandy's mom for taking a chance on my work to help her daughter.  Thinking of Mandy's "I feel happy!" still makes me smile.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Changing the Default Settings

When I returned from the 6-Day TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) Symposium, I felt like a new person:  light, free, happy in ways I hadn't even imagined possible for me.  My work with clients this week has been phenomenal and I know that this is a direct result of the healing I had.
But as the days pass, I'm noticing an undercurrent of unsettledness.   
Evidently (as Grandma would say) the shift from suffering/struggling to the new paradigm is not happening smoothly but rather in fits and starts. There's a part of me that is clinging desperately to the old fears and chaos -- I can feel it and I can see it in my mind's eye.
Many of us have such a history of change ending up very, very badly -- even resulting in death.  Such deep neural pathways!
But change doesn't have to result in the worst.  It can absolutely result in the best, right?  What a concept!  A brand new concept that is just not quite the default yet.
When I can take a few steps back and look at it all from that Hawk's perspective, it's richly fascinating.  In it, not so much :-)
So, when I finish this post, I will be doing a full TAT session with myself, engaging this stubbornly fearful part that's only comfortable in chaos.
I'll let you know how it goes.


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Another Day -- Another No Show

These past two weeks have been virulent with no-shows.  The one at 5:30 yesterday (my most popular appointment time) was just one too much and prompted the following new policy:

Hello "T"
I am very disappointed that you and your daughter did not keep the 5:30 appointment yesterday that I had set aside for you.  I had prepared myself, my office, your paperwork, reviewed the notes from our numerous telephone conversations and begun your daughter's file. 
That you haven't responded to my calls to your home and cell disappoints me further.  I hope that there hasn't been an emergency that caused your absence.

Based on this experience, and too many similar experiences, I am now requiring a credit card number to secure first appointments.  If the person doesn't give proper notice of cancellation, the credit card will be charged $160 for the session.

 I wish you and your daughter all the best.


Saturday, January 11, 2014

Letter Ll Progress Report

              I’m only a few weeks into the practice of focused discernment between my Self and my self that I wrote about in my January newsletter.  Well, folks, it looks like it’s going to be a long, long year. 

          As much as I like to think of myself as enlightened, conscious, unfailingly kind and compassionate, real life experiences keep showing up that prove otherwise.  Just ask my husband of 35 years.  I’ve nearly bitten his head off twice in the past two days.

          We are preparing for a big remodeling of our really old kitchen.  All we’re doing is making decisions at this point and already my serenity is coming apart at the seams.

          The only thing that’s been keeping me sane is my Bikram Yoga practice.  Yes, there’s a Group-on out right now for it that’s attracting some real bozos to the studio … to the class I happen to be taking … and the challenge to stay out of judgment and anger is enormous … it’s still my best ticket to a quiet mind.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy 2014!!!

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language,
and next year’s words await another voice.
To make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot (1888-1965
(Thank you, Carol Meyer)

Friday, December 20, 2013

Winter Solstice 2013

Enveloped in Your Light,
may I be a beacon to those in search of Light.

Sheltered in Your Peace,
may I offer shelter to those in need of peace.

Embraced by Your Presence,
so may I be present to others.

Rabbi Rami Shapiro
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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

What is this craziness?

I wrote to Pam Younghans, astrologer extraordinaire, because I've been feeling so weird lately.  Here are excerpts from our exchange:

I was wondering if perhaps you could shed some light on a feeling shared by several people I know – including me.  I have had a very difficult time DOING anything productive over the past couple of weeks.  I have a houseful for Christmas, and our tree has been naked in its stand for two weeks.  I have to push myself to get anything done, preferring the almost hypnotic cocoon of Spider Solitaire to just about any other activity.  Family members have mentioned how lazy they have been.  Friends have been having a hard time attending to important issues in their lives.
It's just weird.  I'm not depressed.  I'm actually quite happy in spite of all the uncertainty around me.  But, I'm just not wanting to do any of my long list of to-do's.

 And to think that just a couple of weeks ago, it was the exact opposite.  I felt pushed almost like a crazy person to finalize things and get them out of the way.

It's a little crazy-making.  And it doesn't feel like me. 

Here's Pam's initial reply:

I think it has something to do with being bored with the third dimension. Parts of us, still mostly outside of our conscious mind's ability to perceive, are playing with higher dimensional thought and experience. Our conscious mind is aware enough to know there's new and exciting stuff happening on higher levels of consciousness, but not yet aware enough to participate fully. So everything, even those things we would often enjoy on this earthly plane, can feel dry and uninviting -- something like knowing we can see colors the way bees do, but having to settle for the (still beautiful, but pale-in-comparison) colors that human eyes can see.

Astrologically, it corresponds with the Pluto-Uranus square, with Uranus in Aries representing a strong desire to awaken to higher consciousness, and Pluto in Capricorn representing the powerful attachment to reality that can block that higher awareness.

And then she added:

It also seems that we are simply tired of the old ways of handling reality. A part of us knows there are more expansive, higher-vibrational ways of utilizing this human existence, and we're just done with the old methods, even though we may not yet be consciously up to speed with the new. Many things that we've always enjoyed and appreciated -- including our work -- feel like they're a part of the old, so we are restless and don't feel the same energy around them as we have in the past.

Again, the Pluto-Uranus square at work. The conflict between the urgency to find and embrace the new (Uranus in Aries) vs. the reality that deep transformation takes time (Pluto in Capricorn). It's challenging to find inspiration in what seems like our old world, based on this.

It does feel as though we – those of us who are conscious – have a foot in each world.  In the Vimala System, the Ligature Be/be represents "Dancing Between Two Worlds."  Be/be was my Ligature of 2013 and I did not envision it manifesting in my life as it has.  Especially since what I'm experiencing these days seems much more of a "lurching" than a "dancing."

What do you think?